


be known in its aching

by amsves



Category: Log Horizon
Genre: Crying, Dialogue Heavy, Don’t copy to another site, F/M, Fluff, Laughter, No Plot/Plotless, i say crying but there is no angst here, set after Shiroe's first death, so during season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 00:38:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21329356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amsves/pseuds/amsves
Summary: After his first death and resurrection, Shiroe calls Akatsuki.
Relationships: Akatsuki/Shiroe (Log Horizon)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	be known in its aching

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theinconceivabletruth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theinconceivabletruth/gifts).

> Any time @theinconceivabletruth posts anything I immediately get teleported back into my Log Horizon obsession hence this. I've been wanting something like this since I first watched the series and figured I may as well write it. Enjoy.
> 
> Also, fluff bingo prompt: "laugh so hard you cry"
> 
> Title is a lyric from "Wasteland, Baby!" by Hozier

“You done snoozin?” Naotsugu said entirely too cheerfully, standing over Shiroe’s body. Shiroe blinked a few times, sorting out where he was and what he was doing there. _ Oh, that’s right. I died _. 

_ When I died, I was on the moon. It was beautiful. _

_ I saw Akatsuki on the moon. _

_ Akatsuki. _

Shiroe felt something painful tugging in his chest as he sat up. He glanced at Tetra, and then at William Massachusetts and the rest of Silver Sword. 

“So? You got something brewin’ in that head, Mastermind?” Naotsugu asked. 

Shiroe didn’t answer that directly, but he did speak. “There is something I have to tell you about. You, and Tetra, and the rest of Silver Sword. I have to tell you why we’re on this raid in the first place.” 

He paused. Tetra and Naotsugu stared at him. “Well?” Tetra prompted gently. “What is this thing you’re dying to tell us?” She winced. “Oops, too soon?” 

“I’ll tell you all soon,” he promised. “But first, there’s something I need to do. Excuse me for a moment.”

Tetra and Naotsugu watched in confusion as Shiroe pushed himself up and walked off to a secluded part of the dungeon. 

He leaned against the wall, took a deep breath, and did something he probably should not have. 

He called Akatsuki. 

“My Lord?” she said timidly, some hundreds of kilometers away. 

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Hi, Akatsuki.” They were both quiet for a moment before he continued. “I died. I didn’t trust my party, and I made some bad decisions, and I died.” He sighed. “I saw you on the moon. That’s what made me call you, actually. I saw you, and I realized I miss you. Are you still there? You’re quiet.”

From Akatsuki’s end came a choking sound.

“Akatsuki?”

She burst into tears. “I miss you too, My Lord.”

“Hey, hey, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Shiroe said frantically. “I’m sorry. I just--”

“Don’t apologize to me,” she interrupted, sniffling. “I’m so happy. I’m just a little overwhelmed right now. I died, too. And I saw you. I wasn’t sure it was real. I thought it was just because I wanted so badly to see you again. I wanted to see you, and sit next to you on the couch, and eat red bean buns with you, and hear about how your adventure is going, and …” she trailed off for a moment. “My Lord, I thought there was still danger associated with contacting Log Horizon?”

“There is,” he admitted. “I’m still not sure who the spy is. But this was important.”

“If you say so,” she said neutrally, but in his head, he could see her smiling. 

“So how are things at home?” he asked. “Tell me everything.”

There was a lot to tell, and Akatsuki launched into it with a fervor that said she had missed reporting to him more than she could express. He had missed it too. He missed their normal lives. 

_ Normal? _

Well. They had only been trapped in the world of Elder Tales for a few months, but it was so second-nature to him now. He couldn’t imagine going back to a world in which he didn’t wake up to the sound of the kids chatting and running around the Guild hall, to the smell of Nyanta’s cooking, to Akatsuki’s watchful eye. Would he be able to go back to an existence without doing hours of paperwork in his office, without Round Table meetings and negotiations with Landers and coordinated events with Crescent Moon Alliance? Would he be lonely without his friends at arms’ reach? Without Naotsugu, without Henrietta, without Nyanta? Without _ Akatsuki? _

“My Lord?” said Akatsuki, snapping Shiroe back to reality. _ I really let my mind wander there, huh. I guess she just puts me at ease, even so far away_. 

“Sorry, Akatsuki. I was thinking.”

“You’re always thinking,” she accused. “You’re going to be as wrinkly as an old man when you’re thirty.” 

“You’re right,” he agreed, then added, “You usually are, it seems.”

_ Why is it so easy to talk to her when she’s far away? Why can’t it come this naturally when we’re together? Why am I so awkward? I wish it was always like this. _

They were silent for a while more. He could feel Tetra and Naotsugu staring at him, though he was certain they couldn’t understand what he was saying from such a distance. He exhaled. “The moon was beautiful, wasn’t it?”

“It was absolutely breathtaking, My Lord,” Akatsuki agreed, “And I pray we never see it again.”

Shiroe couldn’t help it. He laughed. He hadn't laughed in so long, it felt like a physical weight was sliding off of his shoulders onto the dungeon floor. Tears formed at the corners of his eyes. “Deal.” He glanced back at Silver Sword and composed himself. “I think it’s time for me to go.”

“Don’t die again,” she threatened, “Or I’ll lock you in your bedroom for a week when you get home.”

He smiled. “That sounds reasonable. Goodbye for now, Akatsuki. Tell everyone hello for me.”

“As you wish, my Lord. Goodbye. Be safe.” 

Shiroe ended the connection and walked back to the rest of his raid party, feeling ready to take on the whole world, starting with this raid. _ No more deaths, _ he promised in his head. _ I’m not losing any more of myself before I see you again _.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me and request fluff bingo squares on [Tumblr!](http://www.skeletoncloset.tumblr.com)


End file.
